Challenge Pit

This is not what I think but why

Monday, March 28, 2005

It’s my first post since 20th March. I was in dire need of it terribly. It was really a very interesting long weekend that I had turning round Belgium.
I have busied myself since this half hour ago with Philip Roth’s The Plot against America. I’m listening to Masoud Fardmanesh’s 7th Hekayat: a mind shattering kind of saddening Iranian music. I’m almost half an hour away from Leuven, the city where I have made my life for the last 7 months. Belgium is my homeland and I can’t think of another place as my homeland. Iran is only a far shadowy murky mire land for me, I don’t even know when I’ll get back there and would it be forever or what?
Noori, Nasanin, Mehrshad and his beautiful lovely wife made a good weekend for me. They even made a proposal about ….
Track 1 of this cd is killing me. Oh mine….

Negare man rafti to az kenare man
Wai az mano in dele bigharare man
Rahmi kone khoda be roozegare man
del nagaroonam ke ze yadet beram
nemire in ghosse dighe az saram
yadam bemoon ei mehraboon
yevaght nashi namehraboon

Hame raftan kasi ba ma namooondesh
Kasi khate dele maro nakhoonedesh
Hame raftan vali in dele maro
Hamoon ke fekr nemikardim sozoondesh

Shaba ke tanha tooye rahi
Mahve negahe oon setarehaii
Yadet bash ke yaret ye gooshe neshaste too tanhaii

Sunday, March 20, 2005

writer without land, land without writer

Saturday, March 19, 2005

new year

tomorrow brings with it another end and consequently another beginning.
do not ask the question, do not ask 'what is it'
fall, the fall, loneliness, un

feminism and otherness

she mentioned sara whom she said she kept trying to engrave feminism in avant-garde, I mentioned my point saying that I side logical feminism and she said a funny nice thing :) I liked it very much and that's true , they will see, that's the point. let's wait to see the end of often depraved movement she meant to say when she almost got close to women without men. to me, it's a loveless meaningless life and I don't know neither do I care. is it men without women or women without men I don't know. the only thing I know is that we are making it too hard and it's a pity how all this beauty is given to basterdisation of theoretical belief.
let the women come and go, talking of michaelangelo.


she is undecided. it's not shakespeare in love and I am not philip marlow. it's long time I've exploded the bridge. there will be no time, there will be no time, for a hundred decisions and indecisions. there will be no time, there will be no time for revisions. she will go, cornelia went too. Nadia is like monalisa of shanghai with a head of camel in china.
Lukacs defined another tragic fall last night. "I will arise and go," in Xanado did Kubla Khan drank and puffed a pack. why am i so again afraid of another fall.

let us go then you and i to agree to disagree to say bye in a force of a moment in a manner of savoir faire. I told her if i am able to murder i will be the first murdered. the eyes, those penetrative eyes stunning me nailing me to the table between us. she was bored but still those penetrative eyes

Marjorie Perloff

Four days, four challenging days, four capturing days.
Modernism, Avant-Garde, Conceptual Art, Poetry.
UBU, Pataphysics, Romanticism, Tragedy.
Chaplin's DICTATOR and A......
Tender Buttons


I met Marjorie Perloff at her Hotel (Binnenhof) at 7:40. I sat looking at her have her breakfast. Train Station: no time to buy a ticket, first class or second class? that's the question.
I noticed that she was a bit anxious to see Peter Bürger: "I haven't seen him but heard he speaks in British accent..."
Peter Nicholles (Sussex), Sheunemann (Edinburgh), Richard Murphy (Sussex), Peter Bürger (Bremen), Van den Berg (Groningen), Tania (Copenhagen), Benedik (Island), Perloff (Stanford), they all challenged to prove avant-garde is dead/alive. A friend said, they want to have high class aristocratic bourgeois chat and we must pay for it! :)

Tomorrow is again a new year coming to us, it's funny I see nothing new in it.
then the two birthdays...

what a life,
then he said 'I'm tired I'll have to leave you here.' he is JS

he was angry again, nervous, and again blurted some of his impulsive balderdash = he doesn't know what chert&pert is. he is callow but still has time if he can use it, but I see that he is dumping it, he is jealous? Bert said no, Fred said yes. he doesn't understand the impact of the moment yet he is aclaiming

a novel is the epic in a godless world

in the room women come and go
talking of michaelangelo

Murphy said he would read my words on reality and fictionality, I told him about sickness of art and anti-bourgeoisness tone in THE LINE OF BEAUTY

she said Coetzee's Disgrace... Lucy keeps the child because she wants to command her own life, to manage it without a force without a push.

chinese, persian, hu.... and still 30 no america back london
I said goodbye in my heart but I am no Lanark, there is nothing between a yes and a no, it's gray area of conservative life, not my cup of tea, no hope no hope no peps no hope


I told her I don't believe in miracles and I must carry the burden in a lonely godless world, and it's damn hard, terribly discouraging and yet it's very real. who knows what?

Saturday, March 12, 2005

The Second Session of Iranian Bloggers_a protracted story

I got in a bit earlier and to my surprise saw so many ahead of me.
One of the problems we have is the sound of the participants from IRan. I stood in line to talk and said a word on it.
A-Tamadon asks us to cut things brief. Now he officially starts the panel which is to be started with ethics of blogging.
Majid as the speaker, Majid Zohari, decides to talk over the discipline in this room. we are presently 60 in the room. he says everybody has only 3 minutes to speak. there are some journalists and reporters from different agencies in the room.
Ethics of blogging: we can't stick to it as blogging is an imaginary world, but the question is what kind of literature we need to adapt. does the blogger have the ability to write what he/she wants. he also invites others to take the thread of narrative.
Majid Zohari continues: as a blogger who is writing for a year, I have noticed that some visitors to different weblogs using my id (identity theft) to say shameful things . what we should do is to purge that comment if the real person contacts you and informs of the mischief.
Hoder enters the room??????????????????????????
Veysabadi has taken the mic for a minute now but the only thing we hear is silence.
I guess it's better to set a preparatory session for those who don't know how to work with paltalk.
Farid_15 although can't be heard well but says the issue is that we shouldn't insult others, and never should we forget that writing in a blog isn't a big deal.
hossein derakhshan is taking the mic now. let's see what he is saying:
he excuses himself for not coming to the room last week, he says that he didn't go to Daryoosh concert. he says that he doesn't have a single minute of Daryoosh in his house!
paknevis (neat copy): in ceber-net it's difficult to judge a person by his writings in a blog (comments), we can't see the person.
Ali 5936 says I am a blogger for 3 years. during this time I have had ups and downs, the bad points never dismayed me. but to be honest we Iranians have problem with ethics. weblog is just a way to express one's ideas nothing more nothing less.
Iraj-Mirzad: it's half an hour I am listening to the room. I see that mostly have technical problems. ethics of comment writing shouldn't be taken so seriously. the writer writes impulsively and may later get remorse. however it is important as it mirrors others' reactions to our writings.
Hadi in offside makes a dichotomy of weblogs, those who write for the public, ... [sound breaks].... Tamadon cuts him and says he had good things to say but pity that the sound is distubing.
Khorshidkhanoom says we should leave it to the blogger himself/herself to decide whether to publish disgrace comments or not. and when someone does so we shouldn't hail him/her as one who censors others' comments.
Bijan Safsari is also here. wow. I didn't know it. when I was in Iran I had heard that he was a great translator. I have my doubts if he is the same person. he even translated my driving licence.
Omidhabibinia says I don't need to be introduced. what does it mean? is he famous or what? I have never heard of him. anyway he says that when the regime is free of tension traces and hunts the bloggers....
Pantea says khorshidkhanoom is right, it's my ship and I am its captain. she says some of these commnetators are your blood enemies. she says I can come to terms with positive encouraging comments, let's say with negative ones, too. ...cooool
she makes a bargain over the time and sulks ... she is not speaking for 5 minutes.
Tamadon says pantea has especial priority and to my comment asking what that means he replies I was joking baba!!
Tamadon : Borjian if you want to speak show it with one two.
Borjian: 12
Tamadon:on: I meant one two. only one two.
Borjian: 12
Tamadon: dear I meant type only a two.
Borjian: a 2
Tamadon: who is next? :)

Bijan Safsari: ethics of (hardly heard) comment writing is not to be limited to ethics in journalism.... no voice... he is never heard again.
Shabgard: hi...........( 5minutes later).... I ...say...........
the room has a problem because people can't speak. meanwhile I am chatting with some friends;
you know what he told me? I say,
no
he told me we can't change the world
that's right
we should only address the issue and touch it for a moment.

the room is closed.
saaye-aabi is speaking. what a nice voice, wow. I seems to know this girl. what a warm voice.
she is the writer of two weblogs. let's see.
Sineh chak: I am tired of waiting. It's two hours I want to say a word nobody pays any attention to me. suddenly someone jumps and snaches the mic from him. Tamadon shouts :baba, don't cross eachother.
Sineh chak who seems to be hopeless leaves...
1ghatre says I wanted to express my points but my parents are back home from cinema and I can't say anything else. did she want to say anything she didn't dare before her parents.....?
and as usual the voice problem.
webgardi: do you have my voice?
yes
no sound for a minute
ok , good
no sound for a minute
Tamadon gets the mic.
farshadb2001 denies anything called ethics of blogging. even blasphemy is ok....
Alius says why don't we look at the positive side of commenting? it can be instructive.
sinehchak: fewer comments, better life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
the session ends without a concluding remark: we are Iranians!

Friday, March 11, 2005

a good life means fighting to be human under growing difficulties

madness is an exit from unbearable existence

Robert Burns

Man cannot live on bread alone

to participate willingly is freedom
to cooperate consciously is freedom
to assist eagerly is freedom

Thursday, March 10, 2005

the truth isn't black or white, it is rather black and white

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

'No experience can lie open to inspection from outside' relates Bradley from T S Eliot.

Monday, March 07, 2005

Leviathan and The Sea Inside

Well, well, well.
I am on tragedy now.
Frye has somewhere said that reading is like going on a picnic, the author brings the material and the reader the meaning.
The other day I contacted OdG and asked a couple of questions. He returned my mail answering briefly saying where I had picked every single building block piecing up my questions! and by jingo he even told me the personae, the event and reason such questions had been brought to the table. what an outstanding prodigy! I mailed back : dear Poseidon I am drowned in this sea you are its Leviathan.
I said sea and remembered that a (non-English) Oscar nominee from Spain with The Sea Inside (Alejandro Amenabar) is nearly touching the prize. It's the story of a 26 y o young seafarer who dives into shallow water and hits headfirst to the rock beneath. He is left bedridden with spinal fracture for 29 years. The film depicts him attempting a plea for Euthenasia. Unlike other philosophical films like Taste of Cherry (Abbas Kiarostami), the victim of this true to nature film has decided to end his life, rather his suffering in bed where he can only move his eyes whithin the eyeballs only. One can't avoid remembering "Death of Ivan Ilych" (Tolstoy). Say, isn't death the end of dying?

the role of SEX in regime change!!!

Saturday, March 05, 2005

The First Paltalk Meeting of Iranian Bloggers

It's already two hours and so many bloggers are discussing first things first.
A-Tamadon is a handy admin, I apprecite his ability in covering the whole issue in a couple of minutes.
Khorshidkhanoom has problem with holding the mic, others mostly those who are from Iran have connection problem.
I found Farzad with PAnahandegi blog in Belgium.
Silvia Plath the blogger! makes me sing Silvia Plath's feminist poems.
Pantea calls herself older than olders! she is apparently chewing her nails!
Mortez calls this panel balderdash.
Naser is the one who likes asking for F9 but fails to get the mic on time, it's a funny crazy world.
The panel fails to cover unanimously one important issue.
Parastoo ...sarnevesht... no sound 121 oh what a nice voice but a pitiful connection.
And the most imortant word comes at the end of the panel from Pantea: our utmost goal in gathering as bloggers in Iranian Bloggers Association is to condemn censorship and a plea for freedom of expression.
And as we all iranians are like intimate foes, it doesn't matter if some try to shoot complaints based on their personal belief. An important thing is the clash between hoder (hosein derakhshan) and the central members of Iranian Bloggers Association discussed in details.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Black is the Snow