my life: an open-ended pendulous challenge

In every young person's life there comes a time when a commitment must be made as to what they want to do with the rest of their life.
The subversive achievements marking the unavailability and un-get-at-ability of a finalised perfected "will" explicitly depict the being and existence of a far more powerful force with a thousand different faces and phases whose stentorian sonorous voice we fail to hear.
Each time an achievement is met, a part of life is taken away only to remind us that transcending a will necessitates materialising a confrontation with an internecine menace.
What makes, then, a man man is not conquering the minatory forces but to sisyphusly working out a stratedy to delay the dilatory inevitable until our impending hour finds us fully armed and ready to leave ungrugingly.
But then who knows what lies in ambush in the long journey from the womb to the tomb to be able to make a commitment and a decision so as to what he should do in future? I'd better stand corrected: by opting a choice we deprive ourselves of all other alternatives. We make a decision out of a tentative consciousness of the context and zoooooooooom we go. Seems the outcome is independent of our attention.....